$5 "filler flower" changes everything

Lose the shame of being an adult beginner.

Last weekend I found myself again humbled by the Ira Glass quote about the gap between the taste and ability of beginners.

“Nobody tells this to people who are beginners, I wish someone told me. All of us who do creative work, we get into it because we have good taste. But there is this gap. For the first couple years you make stuff, it’s just not that good. It’s trying to be good, it has potential, but it’s not. But your taste, the thing that got you into the game, is still killer. And your taste is why your work disappoints you. A lot of people never get past this phase, they quit. Most people I know who do interesting, creative work went through years of this. We know our work doesn’t have this special thing that we want it to have. We all go through this. And if you are just starting out or you are still in this phase, you gotta know it’s normal and the most important thing you can do is do a lot of work."

Earlier this month I saw a childhood friend for the first time in 10 years. As a conscientious aesthete, she started a side project as a florist. I witnessed some of her lovely work firsthand at our mutual friend's engagement party and later on Instagram.

wavefloral

A post shared by @wavefloral

Between her inspiration, The Flower Recipe Book, and a Magnolia Youtube video that emphasized the importance of creating "beautiful moments" and "hiding the mechanics" in an arrangement, I felt weirdly confident that I'd somehow discover I had a knack for floral arrangements. Maybe it’s also because I kind of popped off ONE TIME around 2020 when I walked around a neighborhood snipping stuff from the school lawns. (It was COVID; they were closed! Who else was appreciating their beauty?)

Given my dismissive attitude towards grocery store arrangements, I was hopeful that I'd be a natural. I don't believe that is the case. Florals are frustrating in a new way. There was something artless and awkwardly amateur about my work. Overall, since the raw materials and colors were beautiful, my project did result in a lovely gift. But certainly, I could not be trusted with anything larger scale, like my own wedding.

I'm making it a point to credit Megha because she accidentally left her floral scissors at the party (that are now in my custody) and she made it click for me that "doing flowers" was cool and that it's okay to invest in more asset-heavy hobbies. It’s not a coincidence that my hobby, writing, is the one with the lowest barrier to entry. It’s thrifty and requires very little equipment. Anyway, when I don't give the right people credit there is a third grader in my mind calling me a "copycat." This interests me, the enduring insult and fear of being called a "copycat" and how highly children value originality, or at least the integrity of giving someone credit.

Being the originator matters. If you were the originator and salty about being copied, you couldn't call it out yourself or you'd get in trouble. A copycat not only getting away with copying you but also executing on your idea even better than you was the worst. If it was easy to acknowledge your originality or the greater outcomes you achieved, you’d at least be defended. It was the worst to have good ideas but lack the skill to make something that satisfied you. Of course, now we’ve rebranded that as “having good taste.”

I’ve copied shamelessly, too. I had friends in elementary school who were much more attuned to the manga-style drawing techniques, and by copying them I was able to go from stage 1 to stage 2, then stage 3. I never quite mastered stage 4 and above. It didn’t feel so embarrassing to copy what my friends were doing 4 months ago. When it was so obvious that my drawings were not as good, it didn’t feel as much like copying; it was more like following a teacher’s tricks.

Now I see being a copycat as a social tool. It's good follow-up small talk, a way of letting people know that they have influenced you in some way. I recently recommended the Trader Joe’s Ultra Moisturizing Hand Cream (the L’Occitane dupe, tell your moms!) to a friend and it was sweet of her to send me a message saying that she tried it and likes it. It’s an easy way to toss someone a win.

These are the very basic arrangement tips I can share:

• Minimize the time cut stems are in the air, not in the water. Take care not to crush stems as you cut them.

• Buy the filler flower. The recipe is focal flower + greenery + secondary flower + filler flower. Carnations are the backbones of floral arrangements for good reason. As “filler,” they make an arrangement look fuller. Duh.

• Never assume anyone has a vase. If you can’t provide a “vase,” then at least bring a vessel for them like a pasta sauce jar. Anything can be a vase, so long as it can hold water and stand on its own with the flowers. My friend liked the flowers but seemed more relieved she finally got a vase, which was something she needed but never got around to acquiring.

• When in doubt, get matchy-matchy. I hesitated before getting the additional alstroemeria and initially picked out a burgundy color for contrast against the pink mums. I put it back because I wanted to play it more conservative for a gift. I got a matching pink with some variegation for visual interest. The burgundy could have worked but at my skill level I likely would have needed a middle transition color between the lighter pink and burgundy flowers which would have introduced a level of risk and complication I wasn’t willing to embark on.

It’s been over a week since I made this arrangement, and the flowers are still in good shape! The arrangement has really grown on me since the alstroemeria bloomed and I’ve made little adjustments. I appreciated that Trader Joe’s gave me enough stems to make 2 arrangements, which let me roughly track the condition of my friend’s alongside my own.

Here’s a rough cost breakdown:

Erlenmeyer Flask (Salvation Army): $4

Blue vase (Goodwill): $2

Mums: $5

Hoary Stock: $4

Eucalyptus: $4

Alstroemeria: $5

Total: $24

Average cost per arrangement (2): $12

For 9+ days of beauty, I consider this a good investment! If anyone else is an amateur or even an expert floral decorator, I would definitely appreciate it if you shared any resources, videos, or books that you’ve found useful in your rookie days!